Liz, Author at Liz Esquirol

Hooray for Gay

I wrote a great piece on the new gay marriage law and my damn computer didn’t save it as I was blogging….so I’m pissed off…because my thoughts come to the page and then are gone. Damn technology.

So instead of trying to re-create, I will be brief.

I’m happy for this piece of history making legislation. And that’s what it is – legislation. It doesn’t mean the whole religious right is going to suddenly embrace the notion of gay marriage…or that Catholic churches will fling open their doors welcoming such unions in their halls of worship. That will not happen. And that’s ok. Because that’s not what this law is about. It is not about morality it is about legality. Whether you are for or against, it is about providing the people of this country the same rights under the law. We are a nation of equals – that is our very foundation. That no one will be prejudiced against because of race, religion or creed. And within that, should also be included sexual orientation.

Marriage is a legal construct…a contract. It is the marriage of property. Yes, it is about love and commitment of course, but it is about legal rights, equal protection under the law. Why should not 2 committed people in a relationship, regardless of their gender, not be allowed to protect themselves and their partners in the eyes of the law? If we want to talk about morality, that’s what we should be discussing. Being morally kind and respectful of each others personal belief systems even if they don’t mesh with our own.

Most of the resistance to this legislation is ultimately based in fear and misunderstanding. When we don’t understand something, we tend to turn our nose’s down at it…to ridicule and hide. But gay marriage is not a curse that will wash over the straight community – that will in any way threaten the strength of heterosexual marriage. Marriage is a bond between two people – straight or gay – it makes no distinction.

I am pleased. That politics, for one small moment, got out of the way and allowed the voices of everyday citizens to be heard and recognized. That is what true freedom is.

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I Heart NY

There’s a new book out I saw on a morning news program – 101 Reasons to Leave New York. I get it – most New Yorker’s do – that at one time or another we contemplate the notion of getting the hell out of here…away from the crowds, the noise, the constant barrage of life unfolding.

But my immediate response was the opposite – 101 Reasons to Stay in New York. I scribbled notes. I love this city – and want to defend her insanity. I’m writing this book.

1. It’s 3am and I need glue.
Can you say that in Idaho? Let’s say I’m working on building my kid’s dollhouse or my heel just broke off my favorite shoes and I want to wear them to work in the morning. I can stroll out my door and find a store open with glue. I can find a bar, a club, a deli, a gourmet restaurant and a train station all open at 3am. It’s not the end of the night here…it’s the dawn of a new day.

2. Raise your hand if you’re drunk.
You’re out for drinks with colleagues and some friends text you to meet them downtown. You continue your night, fueling yourself with greasy bar snacks and one too many shots of Patron. You’re tired and have to get up in the morning for a 9:30 conference call. So what do you do? Raise your hand, you’re drunk….and hail a cab. Slur your words to the driver (he’s used to it) and find yourself tucked in bed in a jiffy.

3. Dress codes are for sissy’s.
When it comes to dressing the part, nobody does it like New York. From tutu’s to tata’s, whatever you feel like baring gets bared. Style is a matter of taste and culture. One person’s fashion faux pas is another’s fashion trend. And we’ve seen it all here – from the Naked Cowboy in his tightie whities in Times Square to Lady Gaga’s meat dress. But I still don’t get the hip urban pants being held up by the belt around the knees look…I guess the penguin walk is in.

4. You actually live here!
It is impressive. When you tell someone outside of New York that you live here, it’s usually met with “Really, that’s cool.” You ARE cool. You live in one of the greatest cities in the world. You walk down these streets, go to work, raise your kids, brave the seasons and come in contact with perhaps thousands of people every day. Give yourself a pat on the back.

5. Everywhere else is cheap
Happy hour prices are the like hitting the lottery – did you say only $5 for that beer? $8 for that glass of wine? Wow, when did I get so lucky? The high cost of living in New York gives us a strong appreciation for everything cheap. The mortgage on our studio apartment is equivalent to owning a small mansion in the midwest. The cost of a can of PAM cooking spray in D’Agostino’s is the same as an all-you-can-eat buffet in Redding, Pennsylvania. Taking your family out to dinner anywhere outside of New York is less than a full day’s pay. When I go to Virginia, I have this strong urge to shout out at the diner, “Hey everyone, your grilled cheese is on me!”

More reasons to come….

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Finger Pointing

We just love to point our fingers at people, don’t we?

There’s been numerous headlines of late of politicians behaving badly….and the media loves it. Swarming like bees, they hover and sting from every angle. They act as if they are bringing us information, but what they are feeding is our appetite for drama. Just as drivers slow to rubber neck at a car accident, we stop to view and judge the unfolding disaster of someone’s life or career.

Charlie Sheen was a good example of this recently…we couldn’t get enough of hearing about and watching his personal train wreck…to witness his demise.

Perhaps it’s because it makes us feel superior when we judge and degrade. In seeing others destroyed, we somehow feel better about our existence…more secure in our imperfect lives.

It’s sad really. Because the truth is, when people are going through hard times, through a personal crisis, we shouldn’t watch from the outside and make judgements. We should send good energy and healing thoughts their way – so that they can weather their storms. None of us…not a person alive can say that they haven’t endured personal struggle, confusion, discomfort, fear. It is part of our path – part of what connects us as people. So shouldn’t that bring us together instead of dividing us into the “I’m better than you” segments of society?

Sure, yes – some of us have made HUGE mistakes…where others haven’t. Does that make one person more important, more worthy of love and understanding? I don’t think so. At least that’s the way I feel. Because compassion and understanding is something we could all use a little more of.

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What We Need

(Just for the record….my last blog was about professional athletes and performance enhancing drugs – I don’t condone it, but I understand it. Just sayin.)

What we need…..all we truly need is love and respect.

I saw a great interview on CBS Sunday Morning this past weekend with Mike Tyson (of all people). I say that because my general interest in him is small….thinking of him immediately conjures up images of an out of control man, who abuses women (went to jail for rape), who has fallen from the public’s good graces.

But the story was revealing and insightful. It portrayed Tyson in a human light….which was obviously lurking below the surface all these years. Is it an act? I don’t know. Hard to tell. But it didn’t seem that way – and he’s been clean and sober for a little while now….so the clarity he seems to be experiencing appears real.

He’s come to understand who he was, what he wants, and what really matters. He displayed his boxing belts and called them garbage…that they had no value to him anymore. Because the truth is, they don’t have value in a true soulful sense. They have monetary value, but no human value. They shine in the sun, but have been a canopy of darkness in Tyson’s life.

He was an amazing boxer – that can’t be denied. And it’s his tough childhood that propelled him there. But in hearing him talk, the only thing that Tyson’s ever wanted was love and respect. Just like us all. Love and respect…the simplest and most vital of gifts. And this is most transparent when he talks of his pigeons, which he houses in coops, and has done so since his teenage years. He said he loves them (and I paraphrase) because they don’t ask him for anything…for things, for money….they just are his friends, pure and simple. It is the draw of most pets – their unconditional love – that Tyson needed, wanted. His connection to his pigeons is real….and honest. He gets what he needs from them – acceptance and affection without asking anything in return.

It’s the greatest of lessons….to understand that we are ALL human…every last one of us. We are ALL desirous of love and acceptance. It is a human necessity to be cared about and cared for. It is what drives each and every action….deep, deep down. It is this need to be loved and respected that drove Tyson into the ring…that fueled his rise to the top of his profession…and also toppled his boxing dynasty. And what a great gift he has been given if he’s truly realizing that he isn’t an animal, a monster or even really a boxer. That’s what he did, not who he is. Who he is, is a street-tough kid who fought to stay alive in his dangerous neighborhood and achieved fame and riches because of his fists…but would trade it all for the love and admiration of family and friends….hands down – there is no comparison.