Buddha Balboa Archives - Page 7 of 9

Ya Can’t Have It All

I’m not a fan of the word “can’t.”

It’s harsh, it’s bitter, it’s final. But sometimes – it’s true.

What do I mean by that? To me, it’s a description of a state of being, a mindset. “You can’t have it all!”…or “You can’t do that”…or “I just can’t.” All of these declarations are a buzz kill. The feeling that “can’t” exudes….that moment of hitting the end of the road.

I don’t believe that can’t should stop us. I must’ve said, both aloud and in my head, “Who says I can’t?” a million times in my life. Maybe two million. I don’t appreciate when someone tells me I can’t DO something. I hear them but I dismiss it. I figure let me find out for myself if I “can’t” achieve this or that….if I “can’t” get that job I covet. Let me try. Then if I reach that “can’t” moment, I will be ok with it. I will have found my own road block – and not ingested the barriers of others.

The can’t that can be true is this – I can’t do everything. And the truth is, I can’t. We all can’t. We can be in one place at a time…we can’t be everywhere. We will have to miss some events. We will have to decline some invitations. We will have to accept the times when can’t is just a way of life.

Ayers Rock – Uluru, Australia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This all came to me when watching a nature show on Earth (programs which never cease to amaze me) – and in it, they were highlighting Australia’s ancient land and the fossils found there that were billions of years old. There is a red mountain range called Uluru/Ayers Rock – which I had never heard of, or seen pictures of, until that moment. I was awed naturally, at its beauty and existence. And a bit shocked. How come I’ve never heard of this before? Or seen it in pictures in a book or online? How could this wonder of nature escape me all these years?

Perhaps I had seen it before and paid no attention. I don’t know. But like anything new that crosses our paths, I took notice. Mostly because my immediate response was “I want to see that!” Ok, it’s in Australia, I thought. I’ve always wanted to go there. It’s on my bucket list of places to visit. Wow, it’s really far away. And expensive to travel there. (My mind continued.) Hmmm….I do hope I get there someday to see that. I would hate to miss such a geological gem.

And that’s where the can’t kicked in.

The truth is, I won’t be able to travel to every destination I’ve dreamed of. Due to resources, or lack thereof, I may have to file some travel longings under, I just can’t. Not because of the limiting belief that can’t produces, but because of the protruding practicality of it all. Travel takes time and money…both of which we could all use a little more of.

While the thought of not being able to partake in all of the world’s magnificence makes me a tad bit jealous and sad, I also understand how ludicrous these feelings are in perspective.

Before modern times, the world was not available for the taking. As transportation options expanded, so did our ability to move outside our insular worlds. From boats, to trains to airplanes, the opportunity to experience all the riches that our planet offered was finally at our fingertips. When you think about it – how mind-boggling is that? Someone can literally wake up in one city and be at the top of the Eiffel Tower by midday. One can go from a snowstorm to a tropical paradise in a matter of hours. We have the capability of physical and emotional transformation with just the luck of being born during a time when world travel is not a pipe dream.

So, for me to think, Wow – I may not get there or ever experience that in my lifetime, is both a fortunate thing to say and a reality. How lucky have I been to have traveled at all! How fortunate have I been that I HAVE been to the top of the Eiffel Tower, cruised tropical waters, eaten al fresco in a piazza in Italy. What blessings I have been afforded.

If I get to see that beautiful Australian rock formation glowing red in the sunset, I will take it all in. And if I don’t, I will look at pictures and be happy knowing of its existence.

Ya can’t have it all….but you have everything. – BB

What’s the point?

As I was traveling home last night from Queens, I was looking out the window (I wasn’t driving so I was being safe), I saw at the top of a building, crudely painted, the words, What’s the point. There wasn’t a question mark – more of a statement, I felt. Simply someone asking – what’s the point.

A damn good question.

As I was feeling a little melancholy at that moment, it struck me. What was the point? Of what you ask? Of anything. Of life.

We all ask ourselves that at one time or another. Whether out of frustration with a situation, or anger, or confusion…or out of true wondering – what the heck is all this for? Why am I here? Why am I going through this? Why is this or that so difficult? What’s the point of doing anything or caring about anything….it’s just a waste of time, isn’t it?

My inner pessimist was getting the better of me. But it is a legitimate question. Sometimes the battle seems daunting, the outcome uncertain. Sometimes we are tired of the struggle and wonder why we must go through all of this “drama” when in the end, so much of what we fret and worry about, doesn’t matter in the long scheme. We are born, we live, and we die. Isn’t that the gist of it?

The answer is (in true Buddha Balboa fashion) yes AND no. Yes – we are born, we live and we die. That is true. That is the nature of things. And along the way, we ride up and down the mountain, at various speeds and skill levels, trying to hold on tight for fear we may fly off. We don’t have a darned clue what’s around the bend – we just don’t know.

What struck me about the “graffitied” scrawl, what’s the point, was that although it made me a wee bit sad, it also unshackled me. It reminded me that so much of the “hell” I go through in life is of my own doing. That I didn’t have to fight for this or that cause, or continue on a journey that had no purpose. That in asking myself, what’s the point, about any task, I could become more clear and then release the things I found “pointless.”

Sometimes I find doing laundry pointless. My clothes are just going need washing again in the near future, so what’s the point? Well, I do it because I want to feel clean and look good. That’s all. Yes, I’m trivializing, but I think you get my point.

Although what’s the point could be seen as a sort of diminishing of something worthwhile, it’s also a forthright way of asking the internal question out loud – Hey Self – What’s the point of all this? Why are you doing this? Think about it. Get to the point.

A simple question can sometimes be the most profound answer. – BB

Wanted: Alive!

I was walking down the street in NYC the other day and the word ALIVE jumped out at me from a sign. I don’t recall the reference, as I was in my usual city rush, but the word alive bounced around in my head for the remainder of my journey.

Alive. What does it mean?

My immediate thought was the old Post Office notices of notorious criminals…or the movie magic of the Wild West, where bandits were routinely “Wanted: Dead or Alive.”

Wanted – Dead or Alive (Photo credit: twm1340)

Is alive the opposite of dead?

Being alive is a biological and scientific state…that of having life….of being born, of blooming. A tree is alive. An animal is alive. A person is alive.

But what does it mean – from a spiritual and emotional perspective – to be alive. Does it mean the ability to think? Does it mean the act of feeling? Or is it more creative and intangible than that?

When a person experiences great joy or excitement (or fear for that matter), you may sometimes hear them utter the common phrase, “I never felt so alive.” That their nerve endings were on fire…that they felt the blood rushing through their veins…that they felt full, complete. It’s that powerful source – that inner fireplace that burns hot when stoked by imagination or activity.

Being alive is a privilege to me. There is no greater reminder of what it is to be alive than when facing our own mortality, or the mortality of others. It’s then that we see the dividing line between what it is to be physically alive….and to be full-out living.

There are days when I’m just grateful for having gotten through the day – when I’m tired, or annoyed, or just plain old stressed out. And there are most days, when I want to be open to living – to experience all that there is in being alive.

I believe that this is a common human desire. That too many of us feel that our lives and our time is going at lightning speed. We want to catch up and slow down all at the same moment. We yearn to experience the pleasures that being alive offers.

It’s hard, I know. It’s not easy to feel so alive when we are compressed by the pressures of daily life. But as long as we are aware that living is not the opposite of dying….that being alive is the full expression of what it means to live…then we are destined to never be that Western outlaw.

Live it up. – BB

V-Day

Author: Bagande (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

No matter how you present it, Valentine’s Day is a mixed box.

And not just of chocolates.

It’s a polarizing Hallmark holiday that causes pressure, excitement or sadness. It divides the have and have-nots…it’s like the proverbial daisy petal-pulling, “he loves me, he loves me not”….leaving some with nothing but a stem.

Although I am a big romantic at heart, I’m also understanding that romance and love isn’t a day on the calendar. It isn’t about getting in line with florist industry or the chocolatiers. It’s about caring. It’s about expressing love in small ways. It’s about loving someone even when they aren’t being so lovable.

I dislike the exclusionary factor that Valentine’s brings. That somehow those who don’t have a sweetheart or those that aren’t falling into bed in bliss are “missing out” or for lack of a better term, “lacking.” They aren’t.

Those who didn’t receive flowers or cards today are just as lovable as the rest of us. There are lots of folks out there just giving the gifts or making dinner reservations because they feel they “have to” and not out of a genuine expression of what they truly feel. I get that. Sometimes that’s just the way things are.

But no matter what side you fall on in this red mania, it doesn’t matter. Because Valentine’s Day isn’t about a day. It’s a reminder to me, and should be to us all, that what we truly want is pure and simple….we want to be loved.

My gift today, if you’ll allow me, is to tell you that you are loved. And wanted. And cherished. I believe you are good and kind and worthy. I believe that every person, not just some, deserve to be respected and nurtured. That cupid doesn’t have a darn thing on the human heart.

Buddha Balboa loves you. – BB