Buddha Balboa Archives - Page 8 of 9

A new year

The new year is in full swing – pressing its way through January – leaving the past year in a cloud of dusty memories.

It’s amazing how quickly time marches on, isn’t it? How each year we begin with the thought of starting anew….of getting refreshed…of pushing the “start” button.

We’ve created, through our calendars and measurement of time, an invisible renewal on January 1. A manufactured blissful absolution of our problems and issues. An escape from the old…a skip towards the new.

How cool is that? We need it. We need the feeling, the notion, that we can start over. That we can begin again. That the past is over. Just like the seasons which come and go, so to do our obstacles to happiness and fulfillment.

Although the ending of a year does produce a swipe of melancholy, it also swings in hope. Hope that this year will be better, that we can learn more, fear less. That our dreams are lined up, just waiting for us to find them.

New year, new you. – BB

Get Your ‘But’ Outta Here

Have you noticed how the word ‘but’ can ruin just about anything?

I really liked your presentation BUT it went on a little long.

I loved the restaurant BUT it was a little too noisy for me.

I think she’s a really sweet person BUT maybe a little too nice.

But…but…but.

Isn’t it just like us to rip the positivity away by pulling the rug out from underneath the compliment? Why do we feel we need to do this? What causes us to qualify a nicety by taking it down a notch?

I think it’s because we like to complain. We are afraid of letting a wonderful thing just be wonderful.

Maybe because we are taught to analyze…to swirl our opinions around like wine in a glass…to see if it has legs. Maybe it’s because, at our core, we have a place of negativity that needs to be released.

It always makes me think of the old adage – if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all – spoken by mothers the globe over. It makes sense – biting our tongues, or rather stopping them mid-sentence, can be the best way to communicate. Saying something nice – and leaving the ‘but’ behind, is the only way to go.

In trying to explain something in-depth, a but can come in handy. “I wanted to tell you but I was afraid you would get mad” is a means to verbalize your fear. Or, “I love when you stop by but next time give me a head’s up” is a way to express your preferences or your needs. It all depends on how you say it, how you phrase it. Using your ‘but’ to diminish, will never rank high on the kindness scale.

Use your but wisely. – BB

Life Force

As I watched the 121212 Concert for Sandy Relief at MSG last night, I was awe-struck.

And not by what you would think. It wasn’t the fund-raising efforts that blew me away (although that was the point of the event and such a wonderful, giving thing to do) it was the performances by (most of) the artists.

Why? Because many of these performers are legends in the music world – still tipping the scales of rock and roll. Still – after all these hard livin’ years – coming out with their A-game….redefining what it means to age.

These are no spring chickens. Despite that a number of them are in their 60’s – approaching and exceeding the “retirement” age – they still have the spirit of youth pulsing through their slightly hardened veins.

It gave me hope. It inspired me. It reminded me that youth and creativity is not something that leaves us as we tick off the years. It tells me that it lives inside of us – no matter what – as long as we are willing to get out there and rock our butts off.

It reminds me to live out loud. To dismiss the notion that we become irrelevant as we grow older and affirm the belief that what we put out in the world is what “becomes” our world.

A huge thank you to the artists for coming together to help those that have lost so much. And for reminding us that what we truly own is our hearts and souls – which can never be destroyed through time nor storm.

Rock on! – BB

Complain or Compliment – You Decide

“Untold suffering seldom is.” – Franklin P. Jones

I love this quote…because whether we like it or not, we hear it. Complaints. Expressions of unhappiness, dissatisfaction.

We all have them. And we all complain. Take a day or two and pay attention to what you say – odds are a complaint or two (or twenty) leaks out.

I get it. I truly do. Because complaining seems to be part of our makeup. Probably because we as people tend to focus on the bad and not the good, the lack instead of the abundance.

The funny thing is, none of us really likes a complainer. There’s a repulsion we feel towards those that bemoan their fate or the fate of the world constantly….frankly, they can be a big downer.

What we complain about can be outright silly. In my job, I deal with “customers” (or rather viewers) on a daily basis. The things they object to are, in my mind, so un-important in the big scheme of things. Sometimes I want to shake the phone and strongly urge them to let it go – to spend their time volunteering or taking a walk and breathing in the crisp air. I want to remind them that complaining about something that truly doesn’t matter is a waste of their precious energy and life force. Please sir, hang up the phone and we’ll pretend you never called clearly upset that your favorite episode of Family Guy didn’t air.

I don’t mean to belittle people’s need to express their opinions. I am a big ‘freedom of expression’ advocate (as I’m doing right now.) What I’m trying to point out is that expression is not something that should be squandered away on the mundane. Wouldn’t it be better spent in highlighting the positives in life? Isn’t it funny how sometimes when someone offers up a compliment instead of a complaint we are taken aback – even mildly confused by the kindness? I know I’ve had several experiences where I’ve been shocked by someone’s praise – thinking wow, wasn’t that nice of them? It say’s a lot about what we expect…developed over time from the cacophony of common complaints.

Certainly it’s ok and even good to complain once in awhile…to get things off our chest. But complainer on your calling card – not so welcome. – BB