Kick Your Bucket (List)

It’s time to kick your bucket…list, that is.

Take a look at it – take it for a spin.  Write everything down and kick its tires.  See if it holds up.  Chances are it needs some maintenance.

We all have one – the life bucket list.  Immortalized in poetry, movies and songs, it’s the list we create because we are just that – mortals.  We are aware of our finite time here on this Earth – and we have these soul yearnings (sometimes misguided) of things we must accomplish, events we must attend, places we must visit.

Why?  Why do we have this list and how important is it really to our happiness?

There’s a number of popular books out there on the subject – 1,000 Places to See Before You Die comes to mind.  I don’t know about you, but I get overwhelmed just thinking about 1000 places I want to see before I die.  It certainly makes me feel like time is running out.  There’s also 1,000 Foods to Eat Before You Die – which sounds more appetizing if you will – but still the question arises of “doability.”  Using my very basic math skills, if I cook or travel to all these places to eat, my weight will increase as my bank account decreases.  Maybe not the bucket list recipe I’m looking for.

Your bucket list is meant to inspire and compel you – to set your sights on something you’ve been thinking about for months or years.  The fruition of a list item is thought to fill you with a sense of completion and pride – the moment when you can take out your pen and check the ‘Done’ box.  Nice work self.

So here’s where it gets tricky.  This list of yours – is going to change.  It’s going to mold to your desires as they change throughout your life.  What you wanted at 10 is certainly not what you want at 20, 30, 40 and beyond.  Climbing Mt. Everest might sound awesome at 22 – but perhaps not so much at 72.  Or wanting to build your own log cabin may be something you dreamt of when you lived in Maine, but not high on the priority scale when you find you’ve made a home in Chicago.  Your dreams, goals, aspirations can and WILL grow with you.  Just like you outgrow your favorite pair of jeans when you’re a teenager, you may find it’s best to shed some bucket list items that don’t align with your seasoned self.

A few years ago, a girlfriend of mine and I decided to take some tap classes downtown in NYC.  Quick back story is, we were both former performers, who had danced in a tap show a numbers of years prior, enjoyed the challenge and thought it would be fun to hit the old dance studio again.  Nothing crazy, just something we’ve been wanting to do.

We took the group class – with folks of various levels and ages present.  We did your basic warm-ups and tap steps – at one point in a circle to George Benson’s ‘On Broadway’.  We silently caught each other’s eyes and smiled – feeling a bit silly and out of practice.  My friend had to leave before class ended and I waved goodbye and made my own way home that night, back uptown.  The next day, she called me so we could discuss it.  She said, “Ahhhh, I don’t think I have to go back.”  I agreed without a beat.  And with that, our tap careers and bucket list item shuffled off to Buffalo.

The odd sensation was relief.  I hadn’t expected that.  I was totally okay with putting the idea that I wanted to take tap classes again to bed.  Gliding my pen through the words freed me up to pursue other interests, free of guilt.  I hadn’t realized that it wasn’t important to me anymore – that I had other classes to take or goals to pursue that were more in line with the person I was now.

This same experience happened a second time to me.  Learning to play the guitar has been on my list as long as I can remember.  I had fiddled with the guitar as a kid but never pushed beyond that phase – having been led in the direction of the saxophone which I played in my school band for a number of years.  I envied those people who simply picked up the curvy gal and strummed her with ease.  And who of us has never fantasized of jammin’ on stage as lead guitar in a rock band?  So there I went – plopping down my hard-earned cash for a 10-week group class from a reputable guitar school.  Cool I thought – I’m finally going to learn – this is going to be fun.

Now, I’m not naïve.  I didn’t have false hope of getting beyond the basics, but damn, it certainly was a lot harder than I thought…and required a ton of practice…all of which I didn’t really mind.  What got to me was this nagging thought in the back of my head saying, “What are you going to do with this?  What happens after the 10 weeks are up?”  I knew in my gut that I wouldn’t be continuing after just a few weeks so I withdrew.  I felt bad and guilty and all those things you feel when you’ve dropped out of something.  Quitting was not my style.  I reframed it and told myself it wasn’t quitting – it was letting go.  Letting go of something I didn’t need to do – releasing something I was no longer really driven to do.  It took me a few classes to figure it out, but it became clear and with that clarity that sense of relief.

Perhaps it’s the by-product of getting older – of shedding those ideas and dreams that no longer fit.  Or maybe it’s the cumulative awareness of time and its finite measure, that now allows me to focus my energies toward those things I truly must achieve….those handful of mountains I still must climb.

I’m grateful for my bucket list.  It’s my reminder that I’m human and that I continue to grow and seek out new challenges and let go of expired notions.

Take a look inside your bucket.  Dump it out and see what you need and keep only that.  Kick it around a bit and see where it lands.  It may very well surprise you.