Mixed Messages

I’ve been thinking….yes, I do think A LOT…..this time about mixed messages.

What are mixed messages? 
Worry about money or Don’t worry, money will come and go.
Be thin or You’re beautiful the way you are.
Work hard and you will succeed or just be a Jersey Shore star.
Play by the rules or Break all the rules.

Which is it?

I guess what spurned this thought was I saw that Russell Simmons was at Borders discussing his new book “Super Rich: A Guide to Having It All.”   Super rich – yes, he is that….and I don’t know much about his background and what he’s done to be successful and famous, but I have issue with the Guide to Having It All.  Having it all.  Think about that for a second.  Take a minute if you need.  Having – an operative word, as in possessing, we are a nation of possessors….and All – we are selling the idea that we must have it ALL in order to be complete, to be successful, to live a great life.

On the opposite spectrum, I am reading a book by Brene Brown entitled “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are”…..yes, I know, sounds a little touchy-feely, but I assure you it has some wonderful points on living a good life.  Brene is a researcher and herself grapples with our modern crazy life where we are constantly running, working, pushing, worrying….and yet in her research she brings up valid reasons to let go of trying to have it ALL.  That living a good life does not have to include it all….and that that pursuit can ultimately create less.

Mixed messages….”Rich: Have It All” or “Letting Go of Having It All.”

Do you see my point here?  I worry about the world we are creating for our younger generations…and I worry about the world I live in now….about my life, about what I want and what I “should” want, what I can “have,” how to feel good and comfortable in my own skin when my time on this life road ends.

I grew up with the principle that if you worked hard, you would succeed.  You would be rewarded.  If you played by the rules, you would win the game.  But the truth is, that isn’t entirely true.  Former drug dealers become hip-hop stars, corrupt politicians write best-sellers, bad bankers live the high life.  And even those that do work hard, don’t always succeed.  Growing up, dreaming of being an actor, and dedicating my life to it, did not necessarily make me a “success” in the business (although the nature of the biz has alot to do with that).  My point is that the messages we receive, day in and day out, are what I like to think of as “general guidelines for thought.”  Each of us must walk our own path and find what works (and doesn’t work) for us.  Platitudes don’t work.

I struggle with this because I am always trying to discover and moreso, understand, this gift we have of life.  I treasure it…I truly do.  I am grateful and thankful for what I have and yet sometimes I want more.  These external mixed messages make me stop and think.  It is the internalization of these messages that I question.

What is the answer?  There is no one answer…and I’m ok with that.  It is the awareness that is key here.  We don’t need answers if we have awareness.