Liz Esquirol

TBIF

It’s a very Thank Buddha It’s Friday for one bus rider today.

I jump on the bus this morning to commute to work and I sit next to a young guy. I’m guessing he was late 20’s or early 30’s. I did not take notice of him (as we New Yorker’s sometimes have tunnel vision) until he leaned over to ask me a question.

“Do I smell like alcohol?”

An odd question to ask a stranger at 8:30am but I get it.

Me: Um…yes. (I detected the faint smell as soon as I sat.)

He replied back with a bit of a sigh, worried. He was going to work and didn’t want to smell like booze.

Him: My managers won’t be in so…

Me: Well that’s good. Just lay low.

Silence.

“Do I smell like Bloody Mary’s?”

Clearly this was the drink of the night. (Or he was hoping to use the ‘I had a Bloody Mary at a business meeting this morning’ excuse.)

Me: Uh – I don’t know.

Him: I got 5 hours of sleep…

Me: Well, just go home tonight.

Him: Yeah, I’m going to…I have my birthday party tomorrow night.

He asked me if I had perfume or something in my bag…I said no….and he laughed saying something like, who asks that? It was clear he was still a little inebriated from the night before and was trying to sober up, or appear sober, any way he could. Even by wearing women’s perfume.

He yawned excessively – and the stale alcohol scent clung to him like an unripe grape on the vine. He wore a cap and loafers without socks – clearly a last-minute wardrobe choice on the way to a long day at the office.

As he exited the bus, I wished him good luck. He laughed – knowing he would need it. And off he went – into the streets of NYC – in the hopes of making it through the day, unnoticed.

I felt his “pain” – I think I even commented that it happens – people stay out too late and go to work still feeling the effects of the prior evening. He’ll get through it.

Funny what you will encounter in your day. It’s a big whopping TBIF for that guy.

I should’ve recommended Gatorade. – BB

Buddha Balboa

Life Force

As I watched the 121212 Concert for Sandy Relief at MSG last night, I was awe-struck.

And not by what you would think. It wasn’t the fund-raising efforts that blew me away (although that was the point of the event and such a wonderful, giving thing to do) it was the performances by (most of) the artists.

Why? Because many of these performers are legends in the music world – still tipping the scales of rock and roll. Still – after all these hard livin’ years – coming out with their A-game….redefining what it means to age.

These are no spring chickens. Despite that a number of them are in their 60’s – approaching and exceeding the “retirement” age – they still have the spirit of youth pulsing through their slightly hardened veins.

It gave me hope. It inspired me. It reminded me that youth and creativity is not something that leaves us as we tick off the years. It tells me that it lives inside of us – no matter what – as long as we are willing to get out there and rock our butts off.

It reminds me to live out loud. To dismiss the notion that we become irrelevant as we grow older and affirm the belief that what we put out in the world is what “becomes” our world.

A huge thank you to the artists for coming together to help those that have lost so much. And for reminding us that what we truly own is our hearts and souls – which can never be destroyed through time nor storm.

Rock on! – BB

Buddha Balboa

Complain or Compliment – You Decide

“Untold suffering seldom is.” – Franklin P. Jones

I love this quote…because whether we like it or not, we hear it. Complaints. Expressions of unhappiness, dissatisfaction.

We all have them. And we all complain. Take a day or two and pay attention to what you say – odds are a complaint or two (or twenty) leaks out.

I get it. I truly do. Because complaining seems to be part of our makeup. Probably because we as people tend to focus on the bad and not the good, the lack instead of the abundance.

The funny thing is, none of us really likes a complainer. There’s a repulsion we feel towards those that bemoan their fate or the fate of the world constantly….frankly, they can be a big downer.

What we complain about can be outright silly. In my job, I deal with “customers” (or rather viewers) on a daily basis. The things they object to are, in my mind, so un-important in the big scheme of things. Sometimes I want to shake the phone and strongly urge them to let it go – to spend their time volunteering or taking a walk and breathing in the crisp air. I want to remind them that complaining about something that truly doesn’t matter is a waste of their precious energy and life force. Please sir, hang up the phone and we’ll pretend you never called clearly upset that your favorite episode of Family Guy didn’t air.

I don’t mean to belittle people’s need to express their opinions. I am a big ‘freedom of expression’ advocate (as I’m doing right now.) What I’m trying to point out is that expression is not something that should be squandered away on the mundane. Wouldn’t it be better spent in highlighting the positives in life? Isn’t it funny how sometimes when someone offers up a compliment instead of a complaint we are taken aback – even mildly confused by the kindness? I know I’ve had several experiences where I’ve been shocked by someone’s praise – thinking wow, wasn’t that nice of them? It say’s a lot about what we expect…developed over time from the cacophony of common complaints.

Certainly it’s ok and even good to complain once in awhile…to get things off our chest. But complainer on your calling card – not so welcome. – BB

Two Cents Tuesday

Need to Understand

Two Cents Tuesday is here!

I don’t know about you, but I have a need to understand things. And it’s exactly that – a need. Not a want, not a desire, it’s something I need.

The reason I need to understand is so I can feel comfortable. And secure. Knowing – that I have the information by which to make decisions and judgments. (Like why the “e” is not always used in the spelling of the word judgment…tres confusing.)

But seriously, when I am not educated in a topic and yet I have to deal with it – in work or in life – I feel vulnerable. I feel confused and suspicious. It’s not a nice feeling, but it’s there. It’s that feeling that because I don’t understand something, that I can be taken advantage of.

Case in point – is my current mortgage application. I’m jumping through all the necessary hoops as required by the broker, the bank and my attorney. But it’s all making me feel….well, annoyed. And distrustful. That my best interests are not top priority here.

I’m not so naive to believe that everyone isn’t out for their own gain…I understand that is the nature of “business.” It’s more about feeling at a disadvantage because I’m not an expert in the “rules” of the game, which leaves me open for tackling. Yes, I know that’s why we hire experts to inform us (our lawyers per se), but I’m not one to just take someone else’s word for things – I would like to have some basic understanding of what’s going on around me.

Perhaps it’s a fault of mine…to want to process information. To need to feel a sense of control, no matter how small, over how I conduct myself and how others treat me.

I also know that it’s nearly impossible to fully grasp every concept I encounter, or understand every legal document I’m ever going to sign…that would take a lifetime and unending schooling to accomplish. But I think it’s important we take ownership of what we learn, of what we understand and don’t understand. That we ask the questions – repeatedly if necessary – so that we may gain the comfort that knowledge brings. – BB