Liz Esquirol

Not a fan of ‘cians

As the political season heats up, I would like to declare something this Two Cents Tuesday – and here goes – I’m not a big fan of Politicians.

Oh I know – discussions of politics is high on the list of what to avoid with friends, colleagues and family. And I understand why – it’s a polarizing subject – with strong emotion attached.

But if we are all honest, many of us would say we dislike politicians. I know why I do – because I view them as magicians without tricks. I can see up their sleeves. The outward appearance may be that they are in it to help you, me, the community. But are they really? I’m a skeptic. Think about it – they make promises they can NEVER keep, they say what they think the voters want to hear, they tout their abilities to get things done (but we all know it takes a governing “body” of folks to get things done and that no Lone Ranger can create true change.) They are well-dressed, well-rehearsed talking heads. And the worst thing is – that it’s so transparent.

I want to believe them so badly. I really do. I want to have faith that the next guy or gal in office will do better – that they will have the will of the people at the top of their agenda. Unfortunately, we are so often let down – through their actions, through the web of bureaucracy that ties our political system into knots.

I have a proposal – I suggest that if you’re running for office, don’t tell me anything. Shrug your shoulders and let your message be “I’ll give it a shot.” And if you don’t make good on what we expected of you, you give the taxpayers a refund – of your salary the entire time you were in office. That sounds like a bi-partisan policy I can back.

I will vote when it comes time as it’s my civic duty and a privilege. But it’s hard to pull the lever when I’m crossing my fingers. – BB

Uncategorized

Advice

Advice can be a hard pill to swallow.

The amazing thing to me about advice is not so much that people don’t heed the advice given to them by various people in their lives, but that they will take the very SAME advice given to them by another source.

You know what I’m talking about – it’s that phenomenon when you give a friend or loved one a particular piece of advice, and they dismiss it. Yet someone else can tell them the exact same thing and they suddenly listen.

I’m sure there are a variety of reasons why this happens – perhaps we don’t trust what that person is telling us or more likely we don’t like the advice they are doling out. As many a counseling professional can attest, people often have to learn the hard way. We humans can be a hard-headed bunch.

Often, it is the source that will determine whether someone will listen or not – if it’s a parent or family member, we tend to reject it since they are so close to us – or we feel they don’t understand us or what we are going through. Yet if a trusted friend, therapeutic professional or even new acquaintance say’s the same words, that person jumps on the advice train and rides it all the way to the station.

I’ve had this happen before – and it can be a frustrating experience. It makes you want to shake your head and say, “I told you that already. You didn’t listen!” But the truth is they did listen…they just didn’t like what you had to say.

So perhaps the best lesson here is the next time someone asks you for advice just tell them “You’ll figure it out. I love you.” That might be the greater piece of wisdom.

TBIF (Thank Buddha It's Friday)

Illumination

TBIF #3 – Shine Your Light

I just read that Mel Stuart, the director of “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory”, died yesterday. So as I was thinking about this Thank Buddha It’s’ Friday post, it was clear what I should write about.

Although I do not know Mr. Stuart (or even much about his career), I do know that he touched a large number of us. Not in a personal, have a cup of coffee together way, but in an intangible, memory-making way. He steered the ship of an iconic film that will live forever.

Willy Wonka remains to this day a wonderful childhood memory for me. I loved watching it and still find I get delighted should I come across it when channel surfing. It is poetic and dark, uplifting and creative. Many of the references jet-streamed over my head when I was young – in particular this wonderful (altered) Shakespeare quote from the Merchant of Venice – “So shines a good deed in a weary world.” Mr. Wonka, almost inaudibly, mutters these words as Charlie walks away after having done a good “deed” in leaving behind what could have been security for his poor family. Charlie is the light in a corrupt world.

What’s amazing about this film is that the basic principles of right and wrong are cleverly disguised in a colorful, kooky way. Oh, we get the message very clearly, but it’s woven with such thoughtful precision that we aren’t aware of the magic of the final tapestry until it’s revealed in this one line.

The original Shakespearean quote is, “How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.” We are each a small candle that, when lit, can provide enormous light to those in our path. Each good deed, no matter its measure, is illuminating.

Mel Stuart shared his light with us. It is our duty to carry on the torch. – BB

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Snobbery

“What is a snob? A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are. That is snobbery.” – Alain de Botton

I have to admit that I’m a huge fan of Alain de Botton. Although I am by no means an expert on his work and writings (yet), I am extremely drawn to his vision and philosophy. Why? Because it hits me in the gut, in my BB belly – simply put, I get it.

We are all guilty of snobbery – the act of looking down upon someone as being less than based on our biased perceptions. Alain uses the example of job snobbery – when meeting someone and asking what they “do”, we immediately raise our internal judgment flag and label them as worthy of our time or worthless. It’s that first impression business that we talk about incessantly – how important it is to make a good one.

I have always had a hang-up about business cards as being a perfect example of societal snobbery. To me, it always seemed like a grown-up thing – and a little bit self-important. “Hi, I’m Betty and here’s my card.” My card was then to identify who I was and what I did. Most of our titles are inflated versions of the truth – “Admissions Specialist” or “VP of Tech Core Management.” There are lots of VP’s and Specialists floating out there…it say’s we have value, that we are smart – and look here, my card proves it. A business card is nothing more than a cardboard calling card. It is not you.

In a dream I had recently, two people who did not like me (for forgotten reasons) were walking away, tossing inaccurate comments about me over their shoulders. I strode over to them and kindly expressed that they were being unfair and that they did not know me. I remember how clearly I spoke those words, “You do not know me.”

It bothered me that someone was speaking of me untruthfully – that they had made a judgment call on faulty information – from their personal prejudices. It didn’t sit right with me and I needed to speak up and defend myself.

The truth is, most people do not know the authentic us (except for maybe our mother’s and even that is questionable.) Some of us don’t even know ourselves very well so how can others? I am not labels. You are not your job title. We are not adjectives.

Our snobbery skills can be useful in the grand scheme – so we may be able to tell the perceived good guys from the bad one’s – to keep us out of harms way. If snobbery sounds a safety alarm, then listen to it. Otherwise, put snobbery in your back pocket. Blow it into your handkerchief and tuck it away where it belongs.

Hmm – I guess I’m a snob too. I’m a snob about snobs. – BB

Read Alain’s work – http://www.alaindebotton.com/ – he’s amazing.