“You don’t have a soul.  You are a soul.  You have a body.”  CS Lewis

I saw this written on my horoscope the other day (yes, fun to read whether you “believe” or not) and I loved the quote.  It is all in the wording isn’t it?  

We tend to consider ourselves as having a soul, a conscience, an intangible self.  We talk about this soul as if it’s something we have inside ourselves.  But if we look at living, being alive, in its purest form, we are merely living in a vessel we call our bodies.  A mass of blood and skin and veins and organs, that we inhabit.  That which makes up the true self (our spiritual core, if you will) is that unseen personality which defines who we ultimately are.  We aren’t our bodies…our bodies don’t define the kind of people we are, the kind of emotions we feel, the kind of greatness we can achieve.  It is our spirits, our souls, that speak of who we are.  It’s the twinkle in someone’s eye that comes through the body from somewhere far greater.

The best evidence that we aren’t our bodies is to view death.  I saw my friend laying in his casket recently, and all I could think to myself was this wasn’t him.  This was his human form – his body which has ceased functioning on a biological level, but it wasn’t HIM.  It wasn’t who he was – it was his shell.  His soul was still present although I could not touch it.  We are always present, even  in death.

Although it’s important to keep our bodies healthy – so we can enjoy our lives – we need to always remember it is our souls that need attention and care.  We need to remind ourselves that we are more than our physical appearance – way more.  That what we truly ARE is not bound by biology and genetics. 

You are a soul.

More Diary-E….1977

February 1
Tuesday – I don’t know if I did Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit.  Went to school (with hair curled) and during lunch Dawn was flirting so much with Darryl.  Had a fashion show and slides 6th and some 7th period.  It was pretty good.  Sat in the front row and tried to make Debbie laugh.  After school I just fought with Jackie and got hit in the eye with a lamp by Jackie.  Dad was being a BITCH!  Howie told me that Ray said I was getting better and that he was going to come over!  SO HAPPY!  Went to dancing and water froze on windshield.  On the way home laughing with Snet.  To Caldor’s – Howie.  Home – ate pizza and watched tv.  Washed hair.  Bed 12:20.

(Rabbit is a first of the month thing where you make a wish and say Rabbit three times right after – some silly ritual.  Apparently I was having some family issues that day – getting hit in the lamp in the eye by my sister??!!  It’s a wonder we are still friends today.  And dad was obviously in one of his famous bad moods.  More boys and hair washing references.  And Snet is a nickname for our friend Annette.)

February 14
Monday – Went to school.  4th period 8th grade got bawled out by Hames and all activities cancelled.  1st period stage crew to clean auditorium.  After school I ate snacks and watched tv and got money from Mama and postcard from Jackie – France.  I am going to Florida!  mom said.  Ate supper and after supper so many problems.  Lance called me and then got Lorenzo to call me and we talked personal.  Tom came over.  Dad got sort of laid off.  Glenn called at 8:50 and 9:00.  I love him.  Washed hair and went to bed at 10:00.  I don’t believe that so many kids like me!!!

(“Bawled out” means yelled at – is that a common term?  Mama was my grandmother – she was always good for a card with some cash tucked inside.  Jackie did a student exchange program in France for a few weeks.  Again, I washed my hair.  How does one get “sort of” laid off – not sure how dad managed that one.  It appears I’m amazed people boys like me – ahhh the teenage life.)

February 28
Monday – Had 5 hours of sleep – got up at 6:30 to wash my hair.  At school I just did usual stuff and then came home.  Ate snacks and watched tv.  Then Moira came over and helped me pack my suitcase -so much stuff!  Then I watched tv and hung around then Jackie finally got the supper – Arthur Treachers – home at about 6:30.  Hovan and Bob came over and I talked with them.  Barry took his ring back.  I watched tv all night – the Battle of the Network Stars and NBC won.  I wanted ABC.  Bed not too late.

(Seriously, I crack myself up….who the hell is this kid?!  I was a big snacker and tv lover…and how about that dinner of champions – Arthur Treachers!  Note here that Arthur Treachers was a fried fish and chips joint, but since I don’t like fish, I used to get the deep fried hotdog on a stick and french fries…I know, but damn it was tasty.  And the fact that I’m disappointed over who won Battle of the Network Stars proves I had very little to really worry about.)

March up next…

Continued rummaging has brought forth childhood diaries.  Or rather adolescent diaries.  Scary stuff.  But I’m going to be brave.  Not that there’s anything earth shattering in there, more self-exposing than anything.  Like an x-ray.

1977 (3 days in January)

January 1 
Saturday – This morning I woke up at 10:00 but got out of bed at 12:00 noon.  I ate my lunch and watched the Rose Bowl Parade.  I washed my hair and Joe A. was over staring at me and grabbing my butt – it was fun.  I watched a few football bowls all day.  Jackie’s friend came over late afternoon.  We ate spaghetti for supper.  Lorenzo called and we talked a long time.  Jackie and Bob had a fight on the phone.  While watching Starsky & Hutch, Glenn called and we talked awhile.  Then watched Carol Burnett with those guys.  Ranked down Jackie because she’s dumb.  Good day.

(Omg – that’s crazy.  FYI – Jackie is my older sister.  I’ve changed some names to protect the guilty.  The worked “ranked” means tease, bust on, goof on (it’s a 70’s thing.)

(I love how much of my day consists of reporting on what I watched, what I ate, and which boy I was talking to.  “Grabbing my butt”….am I serious?  That’s so ridiculous.  Funny how after saying that my sister was dumb I remarked that it was a good day.  Must’ve been the spaghetti dinner.)

January 21
Friday – Went to school and got my eyes and ears checked – perfect!  Got detention slip in English.  Took half the math test.  Ate spaghetti in Foods and was sick the rest of the day.  Ate lasagna for lunch.  Kathy O’Neill sneezed about 207 times!  After school just suffered and didn’t eat anything all night.  Watched Donny and Marie and most of Love Boat II and I fell asleep.  So tired tonight. Went to bed!

(Again – it was all about food and television.  And someone sneezed alot.  Exciting life.)

January 29
Saturday – Today is my 14th birthday.  Mom woke me up at 11:15 and I came downstairs and washed my hair and opened my gifts.  I got 40 dollars altogether, a little teddy bear Buff and earrings.  I went to a Stratford YMCA swim meet with Moira.  A retarded man sat next to me and kissed me (cause my birthday) and bugged me all day.  No open dip after (RATS!)  Went home to Moira’s and we ate good pizza.  Came home and ate french fries from Mac’s.  Then lit candles on pie at 5:56.  Went bowling tonight with Moira, Mary and Howie.  Mary game me grape Lipsmackers and a funny card.  Came home and watched tv.  Thought of Glenn.

(Again with washing the hair – what’s the deal with always noting that?  I apologize for my politically incorrect self not being more understanding of those with disabilities.  And the “open dip” (RATS!) comment was a disappointment with there being no free swim after the meet and had nothing to do with actual “rats”…Rats = damn back then – a Charlie Brown reference I suspect.  And don’t you just love my fabulous healthy diet – pizza, french fries, pie?!)

February to come…..